I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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