where does the pee come out of this thing
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
