are you still at the devil's house?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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