Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize