we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
