I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
