Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
