hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize