How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
