It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
