I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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