I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
