C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
