So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
did you just send me my own nude
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
