8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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