Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
