ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
