I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
