How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize