Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
