I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
