overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
