no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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