You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize