okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
