Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
