and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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