tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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