I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize