Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
