We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
