I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
