Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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