You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
