i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
