But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
