Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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