this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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