i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Randomize
