should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
