I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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