is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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