Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why is there bacon in the couch?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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