i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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