"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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