Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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