So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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