at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
