Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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