he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
