hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's never too late to be topless.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think people are normalizing furries
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
