If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
