she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
