I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
