she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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