what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize