dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
