you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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