So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You need a sexual gate keeper
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
