you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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