:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
