some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
