I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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