i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
