K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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