We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
