I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
